Parenting Burnout: What to do when you feel like giving up..

Parenting is a journey of highs and lows. 

Parenting a child with additional needs is similar but, the peaks are higher and valleys much...much lower. 

The additional responsibilities of managing appointments, advocacy, therapy and navigating complex behaviours can take a toll on our emotional, physical, and mental health, leading to a state of burnout.

When parents of children with extra needs experience burnout, they may feel like giving up on their caregiving responsibilities or feel they can no longer cope with the demands of their role. 

Whether you're a new parent and struggling to adjust to the demands of caring role or a seasoned parent burnt out from years of caring, this post will be an encouragement. 

What CAN we do when we feel like we CAN'T? 

1. Identify limiting beliefs and negative thinking habits

Another term for limiting beliefs is "cognitive distortions". Cognitive distortions refer to inaccurate thoughts or beliefs that lead to negative emotions and behaviors.

Examples of cognitive distortions for caring parents include:

• Black-and-white thinking: "If this doesn't change I won't cope"
• Catastrophizing: "It's never going to get better"
• Overgeneralization: "I always get this wrong" or "It's always going to be this hard"
• Personalization: "It's my fault my child is like this"
• Telling ourselves repeatedly: "I can't do this..." 

These distortions reinforce a limiting belief that there is only so much we can handle and eventually we will reach our limit, explode or crumble in a heap. 

Not true. 

Remind yourself how many times you've said, "I can't do this" but, somehow managed to do it and keep doing it....never underestimate your resilience.  

2. Replace old thinking with new thinking

Easier said than done, right? 

Once we recognise & identify negative patterns of thinking or limiting beliefs we can work towards creating new perspectives. 

We do this by simply challenging the thought. 

"What's that brain? I can't do this anymore? Actually, that's not true. 

I feel a bit out of my depth but, I can do it. I can find a way through this. I always do."

3. Choose joy and hope

Research in neuroscience is constantly validating what humans have always known.

Positive thinking or a positive mindset helps you feel better!

Instead of focusing on what we can't control; we can turn our attention to things that are within our control.

We can't control our circumstances but, we can always control our response. 

Instead of trying to 'change' our child to 'feel better' (which will likely be unsuccessful!) we turn our attention to changing ourselves & the way we think.

We choose to work on developing a positive lens to view the world. 

One simple strategy is to tune into little 'wins' and ''moments' and celebrate these.

We often create goals and then place all our hope in the outcome. 

e.g "Everything will be okay when my child learns to speak....." 

This is not the hope I'm talking about. Hope must be in something bigger.

Placing our hope in outcomes often leads to frustration and disappointment and causes us to miss all the precious little 'moments' & 'wins' along the way. 

Look for the little things! You'll find them if you tune in! 

It sux to feel burnt out. I get it. 

But, there is always hope when we shift our focus to what is within our control. 

There is always a 'next' regardless of our circumstances.

There is always a way forward.

Don't give up. You'll be okay. ❤️