School can play a pivotal role in shaping our child's future, providing them with knowledge, experiences, and opportunities to grow. But, what happens when our child's journey through school hits a roadblock?

As parents, we understand that watching our children struggle academically or emotionally can be heart-wrenching. It's during these challenging times that our role as advocates for our child steps up a level!

In this blog, I want to address our own (parental) anxiety when:

• Our child dislikes or  is distressed going to school
• Our child is not having their needs met at school
• Our child is struggling with their emotional regulation 
• Our child is refusing to go to school / doesn't want to go
• Our child has disengaged from school and doesn't attend regularly (or at all)              

Obviously, every situation is different so I am speaking broadly to our anxiety.

Most of our anxiety around school disengagement can be addressed.

1. Logistical Anxiety 

How will I meet my childs needs at home AND meet all my other obligations?

e.g other kids at home, work etc...

As parents, logistical challenges are our jam. We can figure this out - we always do! 

2. Anxiety around our Child's Future

What will happen to my child if they don't go to school? How will they ever learn the skills to get a job? 

The good news is that school is not the only way to learn! Think about how much our children learned at home before they attended formal education! Children are highly capable of learning skills such as time-management, self-discipline and social skills in other settings. This is true particularly when they arrive in the real world because these skills have real meaning for them e.g it's very easy to find the intrinsic motivation to turn up to work on time when you are rewarded with a paycheck! 

Children also have a tremendous capacity to learn things very quickly... they don't need 13 years to practice how to turn up somewhere on time. 

We must remember that institutional school, historically speaking, is a fairly new concept. Generations of humans have learned through doing life in community and have lead meaningful and fulfilling lives. The purpose of institituational school is purely economic and we all know that our lives are worth more than our economic value!  

Let's not catasptrophise that our child will never succeed in life if they don't do well in school.

It's just not true. 

3. Anxiety around Social Expectations

What will people think if my child doesn't attend school? What if they think I'm a terrible parent? 

Our society places such an emphasis on school being the essential ingredient to economic success that our child's disengagement or disinterest is considered a big deal. It can be hard not to get upset by the vocal opinions of educators, therapists and family members. But, we must remember that our responsibility is to our child and not the opinions of others. 

We need to put our child's needs first even if the consequence is the disapproval of others. 

You are the parent and the only person equipped to make unbiased decisions from a foundation of love, fierce protectiveness and your child's best interest.

In conclusion, most of anxiety around our child's disinterest or disengagement in school is based on our beliefs around education and schooling. These beliefs can be gently challenged as we consider the needs of our child and the value of our child needing to feel safe, nurtured, loved & protected. 

If your child is not thriving at school. There are other ways to learn. They will be okay and so will you!

Be encouraged xo