Why it feels like nothing works? Different Kids need a Different Approach

When my eldest was a toddler, we joked he was "above the law" because he never responded to traditional discipline.

He didn't care if he got 'told off', had a toy taken away or ended up in time-out.

Nothing seemed to work. 

I was confused because it seemed other parents were using traditional parenting approaches successfully.

So, why weren't those strategies working for MY child? 

I trawled the internet & read DOZENS of parenting books searching for answers. 

Eventually I realised that different kids need different approaches (or strategies). 

Parenting isn't one-size fits all.

There is no universal approach that guarantees success.

Our children are individuals.

Individual personalities, temperaments, preferences, interests & needs.....just like all humans. 

As parents, it can be challenging to accept that different kids (even within our own families) need different strategies and approaches. 

So, what can we do when we feel like nothing works? 

•  Let go (or unlearn) old ways of thinking about behaviour & discipline

•  Embrace flexibility in favour of rigid thinking about behaviour

•  Develop good communication skills to listen to understand our child's needs 

•  Focus on connection WITH our child instead of control OF our child 

•  Don't give up! There is always an answer to challenging behaviours!

It takes confidence to step out and respond to our child's needs instead of social expectations. 

But, the measure of our parenting success is in the relationship we build with our child not in the opinions of others. 

You are the expert of your own child and it's okay to get creative, think outside the box and do things differently. 

Parenting is a dynamic process that requires adaptation and tailoring to meet the unique needs of each child.

By embracing the idea that different kids need different parenting approaches, we alleviate the frustration of feeling like nothing works.

Understanding our child's personality & needs, embracing flexibility, practicing effective communication, and seeking support are all key elements to consider in our parenting journey.

Remember, you are not alone, and by continuously learning and adapting, we can navigate challenging behaviours & build a positive relationship with our children that will last a lifetime.  

 With love xo